Twofish's Blog

September 18, 2006

Bought plane tickets….

Filed under: Career, mental health, new york city, quantitative finance, quantlib — twofish @ 5:34 am

I’ll be at MIT for the Chinese Financial Association conference on 10/6-10/7 and then I’ll stay a few days for the ISEAD Financial Engineering Applications.  This will get me until Wednesday when I’ll travel down to NYC.

I’m putting together an itinerary of conferences and a list of people to meet.

I’m psychologically preparing myself to leave Austin.  Rationally, I know that I don’t have a future here, but emotionally, it will be hard to leave.  I’m going to spend the next two weeks seeing if there is any chance that I can stay.

The thing that worried me was that the stress of NYC or Houston would be bad for my mental health, and that I’d end up miserable.  But it was the Nightline interview that convinced me that nothing that could happen to me out of Austin could be as bad as if I stayed.  If I go to NYC, I might completely burn out, but at least I’ll learn something new.  If I stay here, then over time, the difference between what I’m doing and what I think I should be doing is just going to get worse and worse.

Staying in Austin seems “safe” but rationally, that apparent safety is an illusion.  I need to really ask myself, looking forward ten to twenty years, is there really a future in the work I’m doing?  Rationally, I don’t see that there is.  Twenty years from now, C++ programmer is going to be like unionized auto worker.

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